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I am still sore and deaf but must say it was one of the more thrilling drives of my life if only because like on a Segway you’re pretty much at the limit whenever you’re in motion.

The sounds it makes evoke what it must be like to find an old 911 turbo in a barn that you try to nurse home – I never heard so many grunts, moans, pops and hisses from a single motor.

The squat under acceleration was addictive, reminding me of something that was lost when trailing arm rear suspensions went extinct and making the car feel far more powerful than it was. In fact I never wanted for more power, and was shocked to find it felt better on the highway than around town.

If it had a different tranny (impossible to get a smooth shift out of and eons between ratios) and brakes (truly binary) it would be fun but as it is I’m fairly convinced the people who own them kick themselves each time they send in the payment check.

Every time I see an R class I wonder three things:

1) Does it portend the future?

2) Who signed off on its droopy styling?

3) When will they get around to fixing the mess?

Well according to evo, the answer to #3 is “soon.”

‘SL’ originally stood for Sports Light, and while the Mercedes-Benz SL is still sporting – to a degree – it’s certainly not light: 1910kg. This near two-tonner is a long way from the elegant, slim-pillared SLs of the 1970s and ‘80s, and long full stop – 4562mm end to end, more than many a family-sized hatch or even estate car, plus a broad 1820mm across. The SL 500’s sheer size and bulk, never-ending bonnet, sometimes floaty ride and over-assisted variable-ratio steering does make it feel rather boat-like at times to manoeuvre; it is not a neat, agile little thing, nor is it super-sharp… Proceed gently and gracefully to behave in keeping with this car’s character – or at least, as gracefully as you can given the disconcerting, jerky electronic brakes and slightly non-linear throttle response. Both pedals are somewhat dead-feeling, with little initial reaction and then a sudden reply when stronger pressure is applied… Jet-thrust acceleration just feels like an unhurried meander away from the traffic lights and intercontinental progress down the autobahn a Sunday stroll – until you reach a corner and suddenly realise quite how fast you’re travelling. Treat with respect. – 4Car

Luxury brands’ bean counters have severely stretched their products’ DNA. Merc’s bank vault gestalt took an enormous hit over the last twenty years. Bimmer’s SMG gearbox, iDrive multi-media controller, run-flat tires, SUV and dumbed down steering are a worrying divergence from their Ultimate Driving machine ethos. The aforementioned Lexus IS’ harsh driving dynamics bear scant resemblance to their magic carpet LS flagship. Only Audi creates a range of automobiles with brand-faithful consistency. – TTAC

I’m fairly critical of cars that manufacturers cobble together in a hurry and charge more for whether they be body on frame SUVs, sedan-based coupes, hardtop based convertibles, or the new strain of ‘four door coupes’ (e.g. MB CLS, BMW X6, VW Passat CC) if only because the consumer seems to be getting a raw deal when paying a premium for what is in many ways an inferior, more compromised car.

But as this quote reminds us, in some cases such cars are a second chance for a carmaker to make right a previous attempt. And if I take off my cynic’s cap for a moment, you have to applaud anything that leads to more choice for the consumer and fewer dull, ‘me-too’ cars on the road.

The whole idea seems an extravagant folly, a marketing indulgence of almost Phaeton-like magnitude. But then the regular Passat, while a competent car, is hardly an object of desire. The CC offers a chance of one-upmanship sufficient, maybe, to secure a purchase instead of passing the Passat by. [The resulting car offers] Mercedes indulgence at a sensible price – evo

(As an aside, note a comment that applies to the standard Passat and most front drive sedans in general):

Best version? Not the V6 3.6 4Motion, which feels too heavy and clunky. It’s the entry-level 1.8 TSI with 158bhp, a crisp, punchy engine powering an agile, comfortable car. Less is more here, too.

Today I had to correct a field of experts that claimed that an adaptive suspension increased active safety. Not your self proclaimed armchair expert but one charging a sum with a number of zeros behind a 1 – 6 to be exact.

I disagreed, and minutes later – coincidentally – stumbled across one of many examples.

Mercedes limited chassis revisions to a light retuning of the adjustable Airmatic suspension system and a 10-percent quicker steering ratio. The results are a very heavy sedan that feels a little lighter on its feet. Still, this sport sedan is not as athletic as its rivals. Its test track performance numbers …are very good, but not great. Both the 550i and A6 4.2 S-Line outhandle and outstop the E550, but the more relaxed ride and handling compromise of the Mercedes feels better at anything short of the most fevered pace. Even in the stiffest of its three suspension settings, the Mercedes is sprung more softly than the BMW or the Audi, putting a higher premium on a smooth ride than ultimate agility. – Edmunds

(In case you hadn’t noticed, it’s not the hardware, it’s the software – or more specifically how it’s written…)

So has VW produced nothing more than a shameless and superficial CLS knock-off? That’ll be the widespread public reaction. But you can’t really blame VW. The Passat is a worthy-but-dull saloon, just as the E-class is. Benz’s makeover into the CLS sprinkled some showroom fairy-dust onto the range, and the Passat’s CC transformation looks likely to be just as successful. And the CC’s mission is exactly the same as the CLS’s. Neither replaces any existing car. They just give a slinkier choice to anyone needing four doors and four seats but not wanting the staid profile of a saloon. But I can’t help thinking they could have designed a Passat CC that did all that while still escaping the charge of looking, especially from the rear three-quarter, like a Benz on VW wheels… Anyway, the main thing is the CC doesn’t just look like a Passat. It’s longer, lower, wider and to a surprising degree has a curvier feel to its surfacing. It’s not an integral part of the range: it was conceived well after the Passat saloon and estate were finished, which probably explains the surfacing: VW designers were moving into their latest ‘emotional’ phase. In fact, the CC wasn’t even going to be badged a Passat to begin with. Then they thought about calling it Passat Coupe, but the American dealers objected: “That ain’t no coupe, sir – it’s got too many doors.” So we ended up with CC which stands for ‘comfort coupe’ not, as every other manufacturer uses the abbreviation ‘coupe cabrio’. – Top Gear

If you’re detecting a pattern with the posts on this blog its that the sport suspension or the larger engine aren’t necessarily the best choice. Except when they are. Perhaps the point is that it’s case by case. Take for example the revised SLK…

As is the case with a few cars I can name, you’d expect the standard suspension to ride smoother but that’s not really the case – extra damping can go a long way…

Our car did without sports suspension and came equipped with modest 16” alloys that should bode well for a comfortable ride, but on poorly surfaced roads it allowed a surprising degree of choppiness to intrude through the cabin, and struggled at times to keep its body movements in check. For once, then, we’d be tempted to tick the sports suspension option box… the stiffer suspension help[s] the SLK feel more tied down…

Then there’s the engine: MB’s squeezed more power from the 3.5L but it’s via what one might call the VTEC method – higher numbers on paper but even higher in the rev range (from a bottom end that’s never felt as eager to rev as its BMW and Porsche competitors…

the 280 makes for a fascinating alternative. Rarely have two V6 engines of similar capacity varied so much. The 3.0-litre engine misses out on a power boost, but with its maximum 221lb-ft of torque delivered from just 2,500rpm, it feels relaxed in its nature, whereas the 350 feels frenetic. It even has a more cultured howl when the 3.5-litre snarls.

Confused? Don’t be. Call me and it’ll all make sense…

(Apparently).

And like me, he is floored by what Mercedes has wrought with the new C class.

Watch this video and you’ll see why…

(Makes the 3 series look a bit one dimensional and short sighted just a three years after launch, doesn’t it?)

If you haven’t noticed, Mercedes Benz decided at some point that Benz didn’t have to be synonymous with dull. First came the SLK, then the new S class, then the SL revision. Now we have the upcoming C class, which seems set to strike a brilliant balance between sporting and supple:

Feel is superb, grip prodigious and, no matter how hard you push, the C350 refuses to come a cropper. Truth is, it enjoys being taken by the scruff of the neck and hammered. The basic tenacity and faithfulness of the chassis, massaged and focused by the electro-hydraulic damping regimes, can simply murder a twisty road. And the steering isn’t just beautifully weighted but dripping with feel. Cornering balance is just about spot on, too.

Even with the traction control left on (being a non-AMG it never fully switches off), slide the auto down a cog or two and it’s possible to enter a bend on a trailing throttle with a mild state of oversteer. Stab-correct stuff; your granny could do it. There’s definitely a feeling that the car is maybe more than an equal partner – flattering to the point you begin to doubt your own contribution. But also encouraging.- evo

Welcome back, Mercedes.