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People tend to overcomplicate cars – in the end most of what’s true is true because you can’t break the laws of physics.

Case in point: BMW and Subaru SUVs handle better because the engineers insist on a low engine placement (the Porsche Cayenne has a high mounted engine so has to resort to a complicated suspension to regain lost ground). And the Jaguar XK rides handles and accelerates better than competitors because it is 400 lbs lighter than the Mercedes SL 550 and 500 lbs lighter than BMW 6-Series.

Maybe marketers and designers should be required to take high school physics.

Remember when BMW’s handled AND rode well?

That was before the stylists insisted the wheels had to be enormous to look proportional to the car.

The result:

The Z4 coupe, as with the roadster, can be a chore to commute in, however, owing to heavy steering and a twitchy tendency to be pulled around by pavement troughs and seams. The suspension is downright nervous on imperfect surfaces (and where are they perfect besides Germany?), requiring constant correction and allowing little relaxation. – Car and Driver

Isn’t the media fascinating? BMW’s had a fleet of hydrogen powered 7 series cars whooshing around since well before this generation of 7 was released, and all of a sudden the press – no doubt clued in by a release sent from BMW’s PR department – is rushing to cover the technology, the same way they all parrot Hybrid as some sort of cure all.

I’ve been getting a lot of questions from folks asking what I think of all of this. I’ll spare you the long version, quoting instead from a piece in Car and Driver:

Powering the Hydrogen 7 is a 256-hp 6.0-liter V-12 (the same engine in the 760Li makes 438 hp). The 7-series isn’t light to begin with and saddled with an undisclosed amount of additional weight, the V-12 is said to deliver its driver to 62 mph in a leisurely 9.5 seconds, regardless of which fuel is being used. That’s some four seconds off the pace of a 360-hp 750Li… getting a pound of hydrogen into its liquid form takes roughly six kilowatt hours of electricity. If that electricity comes from a coal-fired plant, it creates as much carbon dioxide as burning half a gallon of gasoline (which contains the same amount of energy as that pound of liquid hydrogen).

There’s a reason Paul Horrell is one of the few automotive journalists I respect – quite simply he seems to step back from the hype and take a deep breath before he types.

Click here for his take on the 335i. I highly suggest you read it from start to finish, but if you turn to this blog because you like to be in the know without a lot of effort, here’s an excerpt:

toning down the more confrontational surfaces doesn’t seem to have brought any special beauty. Instead it leans to the bland. If you were shown the side profile (maybe with the characteristic ‘Hofmeister kink’ – the angled portion to the inside edge of each C-pillar – blacked out) and told it was a new Honda Accord coupe, you’d not be so surprised…. there’s some shunt in the driveline, and the six-speed manual transmission is on the clunky side. BMW used to be good at this… the huge torque makes it easy to spin the inside rear wheel coming out of tight bends. Habitual drifters would want a limited-slip diff, but it’s unavailable. Oh, and does the ride have to be so hard? ...There’s something slightly haughty and offhand and reserved about this thing. Too perfect, too literal, too passionless… BMW has bust a gut to build a brilliant 300bhp-plus two-door sporting coupe and I can’t quite fall in love with it.

UPDATE: while the performance is far more usable than an M3’s, the flat torque curve, the direct-injection clatter and the lack of athleticism over the last 1000rpm mean it’s nowhere near as exciting. – CAR

[Dyno testing shows that] this engine is likely putting out closer to 350 hp and 360 lb-ft of torque... in an all-out drag race, the 335i comes close, but can’t quite match the M3’s blistering acceleration… But at moderate engine speeds, it’s even faster. – Automobile

If they do, they’ll know how I feel about the recent, Bangle induced, dynamic flaws in their cars.

Large, heavy wheels, unfeasibly low ride heights and absurdly low tire profiles (and the run-flat tires they pretty much mandated) have literally made it impossible for BMW’s engineers to achieve the magic blend of communication and refinement that BMW was once best at.

This photo gallery gives me reason to think there’s light at the end of the tunnel. Read the rest of this entry »

...Mercedes-Benz has improved upon the winning BMW formula. With the exception of the brakes (we’ll leave the styling of these two up to you), the S550 outclasses the 750Li in every way. COMAND is far more manageable than iDrive, and the Merc is faster and more capable than the BMW. The massive brakes on the 750 are still best-in-class, but the Benz’s capable chassis exposes the suspension flaws of the BMW. In sport mode, the big Bimmer rides too harshly over rougher surfaces, while comfort mode makes the car too soft. The Mercedes manages to find a happy medium. – Automobile

why have the men from Munich suddenly reverted to forced induction in the year 2006? A desire for cylinders of a certain size is the answer. BMW sees 500 to 550cc as the optimum capacity for each cylinder in each of its engines. However, in its view a V8 is not suited to the character and size of the 3-series (the M3 will be the exception that proves the rule), so in order to increase the power available in a 3-series they had to introduce a turbocharger to the straight six… if there are any purists out there worried by the thought of turbos on a petrol BMW, don’t be… there is no aural evidence of the Puffing Billies, yet squeeze the throttle from even the lowest revs and the engine simply swells with torque – 295lb ft of it to be precise. In fact, there’s so much urge low down that it’s easy to get into a fast-paced rhythm where you’re unconsciously changing up at just 4000rpm. But resist the temptation to hook another cog in the wonderful manual gearbox (light but mechanical, just a joy to use) and you’ll discover that the upper reaches of the rev range are just as impressive. The 335i climbs with undiminished energy up to its 7000rpm peak and keeps on giving all the way there. It’s as though the turbos are merely on hand to give the normally aspirated engine a bit of a piggyback through the foothills of the rev range… a fantastic new engine that brings new meaning to the term ‘useable performance’. Even better, it has set the bar at such a high level that the next M3 will have to be quite brilliant to beat it. – evo

When I was younger, brand meant something; Mercedes Benzes were solid but stolid, Jags were distincitive but rough around the edges and everywhere else, Porsches were built to be driven in anger, and BMW baked near magic balance between ride and handling into every product it sold.

But today, in an age of mergers and acquisitions, marketing and accounting rather than engineering – call the shots. In a spectacular display of vanity, no one was content doing what they do best and has suffered for their hubristic attempt at winning over ‘crossover’ buyers. Lexus comfort has gone out the window in an attempt to be more like BMW, BMW and Porsche chassis are literally ruined by the big wheels dictated by a stylist’s pen. Meanwhile Jaguar and Mercedes Benz have recently quietly focused their attention on the details that make the difference between competent and competitive.

I never thought I’d live to see the day when Jaguars and Benzes key to the road more fluidly than a Porsche or BMW but as you read this comparison you’ll see my point.

Don’t trust brand, trust the feel of the final product.

Well at least not until you’ve read this…

According to my sources, BMW is discontinuing the 325i and 330i sedans and replacing them with 328i and 335i models. Read the rest of this entry »